If you have any good jokes please Email me
Q. What goes "Rivet. Help! Rivet. Help!"?
A. A frog with a man in his throat
Q. What is the best way to cook an ape?
A. Butter it and put it under the gorilla
Q. What do you get if you cross a snake with a pig?
A. A boar constrictor
Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly but a fly can't bird
Q. What does an educated owl say?
A. Whom
Q. Why did the cactus cross the road?
A. Because it was stuck to the chicken.
Q. Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
A. Because it was stuck to the chickens foot.
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No I deer.
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A. Still no I deer.
Q. Why did the Jellyfish blush?
A. Because the seaweed.
Q. Why did the blind bird cross the road?
A. To get to the birds eye shop.
Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A. A bricklayer.
Q. A rooster lays an egg on top of a house which way does it fall?
A. It does not fall - roosters can't lay eggs!
Q. What do get when you cross a chicken and a pig?
A. A chicken that lays bacon and eggs
Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. To prove that he wasn't a chicken.
Q. Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A. Because it's too far to walk.
Q. What do elephants have that no other animals have?
A. Baby elephants
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to go to Mcdonalds
Q. How can you keep an elephant from charging?
A. Take away his credit card
Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm clock?
A. An alarm cluck
Q. Why did the duck cross the road?
A. Because the chicken was on vacation.
Q. What's black and white, black and white, black and white and black and white???
A. A penguin falling down the stairs!!!!
Q. If you were surrounded by 20 lions, 15 tigers
A. Stop the merry go round and get off!
Q. What animal can jump higher than a house?
A. Any kind. Houses don't jump!
Q. When should you give elephant milk to a baby?
A. When it's a baby elephant.
Q. Why was Tigger so dirty?
A. Because he was playing with Pooh!
Q. What is the difference between a cat & a match?
A. A match lights on its head and a cat lights on its feet!
Q. When does an elephant move??????????
A. WHEN HIS TRUNK IS FULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Q. Who cooked the chicken?
A. The barbeque
Q. What animal can jump higher than a computer?
A. any kind of animal ...computers don't jump.
Q. What do you call a deer out in the rain?
A. A Reindeer!
Q. Why did the elephant paint his toenails blue, his trunk red and his ears orange?
A. So he could hide in a tube of smarties
Q. Did you hear about the stupid jellyfish?
A. It set
Q. What's pink, curly and cuts the grass?
A. A prawn-mower
Q. What do cows read?
A. moospapers
Q. On which side does a chicken have the most feathers?
A. On the outside
Q. What do you give a sick pig?
A. Oinkment
Q. How do you count cows?
A. With a cowculator
Q. How do you know you are haunted by a parrot?
A. He keeps saying "Oooo's a pretty boy then?"
Q. What did the grape say when the elephant trod on it?
A. Nothing, it just gave a little wine
Q. What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch?
A. A bird that's ugly but doen't give a hoot
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and 10 leopards, how would you get away from them?
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